by Daphne Berryhill

Here in Wisconsin, spring arrives late. So by the time cabin fever fully shifts to spring fever, it’s almost summer. A longer wait leaves more time for expectations to grow.

Summer starts with sooo many plans and ideas. Some might be new ones that you saw on your socials. Some might be your every year, no-matter-what rituals: trips to a lake house, annual festivals, or family reunions.

Summer brings up long-ago memories too. Treasured memories from childhood that you want to relive with your own kids: making s’mores by a campfire, cooling off in a cheapy plastic pool, and running through sprinklers with friends.

But once school’s out, the long, less structured days can quickly turn life upside-down, making the basics of getting through a day a challenge. And by the Fourth, you might be ready for summer to be over, even though your long list of plans is still just that.

7 tips for less stress this summer

Here we’ll share seven summer tips to help. Summer might not be magically awesome. But you might find more Insta-worthy moments that’ll be so good, you’ll forget about sharing them.

Shift your expectations

First off, if you find yourself struggling this summer, it’s not just you. Psychologist Avery Hoenig points out in a recent interview for Jumble & Flow: summer is a stressful season, contrary to its laid-back image. Hoenig says it’s better to hope for some fun parts to summer, rather than imagine a magical experience throughout. So expect both awesome days and sucky days.

It’s also good to shift the expectations you put on yourself. Hoenig recommends giving yourself compassion and letting yourself off the hook. “Summer is a great time to push the easy button as much as humanly possible.” Think no-cook meals, quick (imperfect) clean-ups, and putting your feet up any chance you get.

Do less, and don’t do it alone

Doing less sounds simple, but it can be really hard. You might feel like everything you do right now is absolutely necessary. So the thought of letting anything go can be scary. On top of that, changing habits requires unlearning, which by itself is really hard to do. Check out Amy Federman’s Substack newsletter on this topic: “'Do less'—the wisdom of subtraction.” Doing less now, Federman points out, helps maintain your energy level going forward.

For the things you need to do, get help whenever possible. If you have a parenting partner, start up an open, honest, and (maybe) hard conversation with them. How can summer work be shared fairly? Beyond that, look to family or other parents to carpool with or take turns babysitting. Are there any older kids you can hire as a “parent helper” or babysitter?

And don’t forget to enlist the kids; summer can be a good time for kids to get in the habit of helping with chores.

Choose your top three

If you have a running list of things you’d like to do over the summer, even if it’s only in your head, try narrowing it down to your top three. Then focus on the little things that need to get done to make each thing happen.

Say you want your kids to have more pool time. Did you buy the season pass? Does everyone know the hours? Do your kids have swimsuits, coverups, and pool shoes — and a grab-and-go bag for everything? What about sunscreen, goggles, and hair ties? Then think about how you’re gonna work it into your schedule. Is there someone you can ask to take your kids to the pool? If you’ve got a baby or toddler, an extra person to come with is really helpful too. Or maybe there’s another parent you can trade off watching the kids at the pool with.

And for spur-of-the-moment fun — keep a list on hand of simple, fun stuff that takes zero planning. When you find a chunk of time open up and you’re looking for something fun to do, you’ll have something ready. For ideas and inspo, check out Verywell Family’s 100 Fun Summer Ideas for Kids and Parents article.

Unfollow the crowd

Everyone’s outdoors having fun, exposing their shaped-up summer bodies, and traveling to amazing places — or so it seems. Social pressures can feel heavier than the soupy summer air. If you feel yourself tiptoeing into the compare-and-despair trap, it’s okay to step back and put some boundaries in place. Unfollow socials that make you feel lesser in any way. Pull back from a group where everyone seems too perfectly displayed.

Keep in mind, however you’re feeling, there are a lot of others feeling it too. When you’re ready, start up conversations with random parents in your neighborhood or at the park. It won’t be long and you’ll find someone you can breathe around and be yourself.

Don’t overspend

Overspending is so easy to do, especially with kids, and especially in the summer. Almost any outing can get expensive when you factor in food, admission, and getting there. While credit cards are convenient, they make budgeting really hard. And catching up after overspending is even harder.

Here are a few things to think about when making spending decisions this summer:

Be honest with your kids. If you can’t afford something, tell them. Explain the tradeoffs. They still might be upset or disappointed, but that’s okay: it’s an important lesson to learn.

The cost of overspending is more than money. Financial stress negatively affects overall health and wellbeing. Factor this in when making large purchases, especially on credit. Is this trip or new patio set really worth it?

Look at the big picture. Think back to your childhood. Talk to other people about their favorite memories. Oftentimes, the simplest moments of time together are the most cherished.

Take a parent time-out

Parenting can feel like you’re always working overtime during the summer. Even if you take a family vacation, it might not actually feel like a vacation for you. In fact, you might come back more tired than before you left. A few hours away with your partner, a few friends, or even off by yourself, can make the long parenting hours feel more manageable.

So keep yourself a priority over the summer. And if you’re feeling too tired to even think about finding time for yourself — scheduling anything can feel mind-boggling — tell people close to you how you’re feeling. Oftentimes, people will step up and help if they know their help is needed.

Get some Zzz’s

The long days, high temps, and unpredictable schedules might cause sleep disruptions. Lost sleep can add up quickly. Pretty soon everyone might be feeling tired and crabby, including yourself. To avoid this, keep sleep habits a priority, even if your kids don’t need to get up early for school.

Experts recommend that school aged kids get at least 9 hours of sleep each night; preschoolers need an extra hour, possibly as a nap. But these are minimum amounts, and some kids need more.

Here are some tips to help make sure your family’s getting the sleep everyone needs this summer:

Consider adding blackout curtains to bedroom windows.
Plan for naps, or at least some afternoon downtime — away from screens
If needed, use fans at night to help circulate the air.
Avoid having dinner close to your kids’ bedtimes. On days it’s not possible, try to keep the meal lighter.

One last thing: be sun safe

A year ago, I wrote about how my long summer days at the pool as an 80s kid, led to my first skin cancer in “Healthy Tan Then, Skin Cancer Now.” The truth is there is no such thing as a safe tan. And sunburns are even worse: just five bad sunburns as a kid can almost double the risk for developing melanoma, the most serious form of skin cancer.

Sun damage can happen fast, even before you notice anything. But with a little bit of planning, you can keep your kids sun-safe without too much effort. Check out American Academy of Pediatrics’ sun-safety tips for having fun in the sun, while protecting your kids’ skin.

In my experience, sunscreen is never enough. Hats, SPF cover-ups, polarized sunglasses, and shade are essential too. Needing less sunscreen usually offsets the cost of buying them. UV-protective umbrellas are also handy.

And for everyone: know your skin, protect your skin, and get it checked!